New Patreon Site up!

My Patreon site is up and running with 5 tiers to choose from.

Patreon Link

Why become a Patron?
When you become a patron you get access to my patron only blog. Different tiers grant you more rewards and I promise you they won’t disappoint. 

You’re monthly Patron will…

  • When you become a patron you are helping to grow the Amelia Blackwater brand and raise awareness around the correlation between chronic illness and mental health.
  • Your patronage will also help me towards my goal of getting my poetry book published. Patrons will have early access 

Handicap Spaces

I’m finding this problem more and more, there seem to be less handicap places and more of these “pickup only” kind of parking in the front of stores and restaurants where a handicap place should be instead. So while I struggle to find a parking spot that is close enough to the store that when I walk in the hot summer sun I don’t faint walking to the store, an able body person can park their car in the front and get their merchandise quickly as long as they’re just “picking up” or ordered take out. 🌈💙So today I took a “pickup only” spot so I could walk into Lowe’s since all of the FOUR other handicap spots were taken. 💙 Does anyone else have this problem. I see it a lot at the mall, or in places like McDonald’s where there are two handicapped spots but then all other spots in front are three take out spots in front of the store. Isn’t it possible to move these pick up locations to a less high volume place to park. If you need to pick up a heavy item designate a place on the side of your building for people to park not right in front of the store where people with disabilities need access.😉 Just a friendly suggestion.

Crop Tops and Full Bellies

This photo is from my last full day in Pittsburgh and my heart was as full and happy as my belly. 🌟Coming from someone who grew up in the 90’s, crop tops were the rag back then. But I was considered a chubby girl a prepubescent teen with big boobs and was “not allowed” to wear such revealing clothing.🌟 Even when I was at my lowest weight during my eating disorder my body dysmorphia made me think that I still had to hide under baggy clothes. 🌟Even after recovery if I felt bloated or I ate too much you can be sure I hid my body under baggy clothes. 🌟 During my time in Pittsburgh I ate amazing food, sometimes I got bloated but I stayed in my amazing cute outfits, crops top and all.

Bucket lists and Living in the Moment

You don’t need a bucket list. You don’t need a list to remind you of everything you believe you have to do before you leave this world. Do things for the sake of wanting to do them and if you don’t, guess what you were still here you lived your life.
Death is inevitable. Some of us know we have less time on this earth then others. I don’t need a list of all the things I need to or want to do before I kick the bucket.
Hell that sounds like a lot of pressure and I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.
I live and I enjoy the moments while I can, experience new things when I get a chance, and I give back to the world in hopes that I leave it a little better than what it was before.

When you look at these two photos there is nothing different between them. The before is the same as the after. 🌟
The other day I saw a story by @fyeahmfabello that spoke about a post where a thinner woman posted photos comparing her body between being flexed and relaxed and how it can be harmful to those of the bopo movement. Her story had some great points and got me thinking about all compare and contrast posts and how they could be harmful when trying to get away from Diet culture.
🌟First of all, compare and contrast or before and after photos are usually seen in Diet culture where someone who was heavier then lost weight and now is thinner. We also see it on the other spectrum with people who have had eating disorders and have restored their weight or gained weight. While both can be inspirational they also are harmful.
🌟I’m not saying that I’m not guilty of these types of posts. I am. I once thought that there was no harm in comparing my healed body to my sickly body. But there is harm.
🌟You shouldn’t have to see how sick my body looked to know how far I have come. Take my word for it. Look at my body now.
So why do we feel compelled to compare? Is it because we are used to seeing it everywhere we look! Compare and contrasting our bodies is so ingrained into our culture that we do it without even thinking. We compare our bodies in the mirror today to how it looked yesterday. We compare ourselves to those around us. There is this constant feel that we can never be satisfied.
❤️I challenge you to stop comparing your body and show the beautiful one you have today, because that is an accomplishment of its self. You deserve to show your beauty that you have today right now and not five years ago. #dietculture #dietculturesucks #compareandcontrast #loveyourself #bopo #bodypositive #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalillness #edrecovery #edawareness #ameliablackwater #beforeafter

Our minds need a little help sometimes, and it’s okay!

I’ve been struggling with depression the last few days. If I’m honest with myself it’s been in waves since last September. I’m hoping that with my new health coverage I can finally get the help I’ve needed for so long.
The mental health care in this country really needs to change. The stigma behind getting help needs to change. There are so many people have spoken to (including family members) that honestly believe that getting help is a sign of weakness. 

I was a part of that thought process for the longest time. I know now that there is nothing wrong with going to a therapist. Just like our bodies, sometimes our minds need extra help to get healthy.

I hope that if you are struggling that you are able to get the help you need. I hope that you are able to reach out, that someone reaches out to you. You are worth everything, stay alive. ❤️🧡💜💙

Count Back From Ten…

There is something about surgery that changes you. Maybe it’s the trauma maybe it’s the anesthesia. Does it depend on the kind of surgery you have that depends on how you change. Is it a chemical balance? I don’t know all I know is that I was different.

Black & Blue

There is so much to my story besides being another statistic. Abuse, rape, assault, they can come from people we love that we thought wouldn’t hurt us. We need to end this stigma of people who are abused, raped, etc are victims. I am not a victim I am a goddamn survivor. My story is written in my poetry because that is how I cope. That is the only way I know how to tell others what happened. What is your story? How do you cope? Know that you don’t owe anyone, not sharing your story doesn’t invalidate your pain. But if you feel comfortable share your story with the hashtag metoo #metoo #nomeansno #imasurvivor #poetryofig #feminism #feminist #feministpoet #feministpoetry #poems #poetry247 #ameliablackwater #ameliablackwaterpoetry #ablackwater #awareness #notaskingforit